I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if i died would you start the facebook group?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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