don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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