My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize