I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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