I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I supernannyed him into submission
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize