Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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