Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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