How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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