paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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