While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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