smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize