do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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