Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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