You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize