hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize