We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize