I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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