my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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