i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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