peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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