it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
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