I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize