I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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