Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
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I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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