I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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