I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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