my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize