I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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