dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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