tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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