Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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