Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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