As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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