why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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