Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize