I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize