We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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