my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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