Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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