nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize