So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize