im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
did i just pee glitter
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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