Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize