My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize