wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize