How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize