you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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