Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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