I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize