Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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