I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize