I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
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This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
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Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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