It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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